Okay. Yosemite is gorgeous. You're obviously excited to be here, as are your children, your partner and probably your car too.

But please, please, PLEASE lay off the noise so early in the morning. Some of us are trying to sleep!!! We don't want to hear you shout at your partner, or your kids chasing each other up and down the landing at 6.30 in the morning. We don't want to hear the car you've started 20 minutes before you needed to, or your delight at seeing yet another squirrel (there are millions of them here). Oh, and that thing that American cars do when you press the lock button twice (they beep to tell you the car is locked) - there's no need for that either.

Please just spare a thought for your neighbours who were sleeping soundly until you and yours decided to up the decibels so massively.

Thank you, and goodnight xx